The Havoc of Two
by Icedev
Summary: It's not every day you wake up to find yourself looking like Naruto. But when you do, a plan is needed. This plan involves saving lives, inventing Star Wars and getting a Harem. But that doesn't mean you are on this path alone. (SI/OC) Self Insert Fic


**AN: I hope this you enjoy this chapter, I don't know when the next will come but hopefully soon. This is a story where I am thrown into the loop of Naruto as Naruto. Well, let's see how this goes!**

* * *

"Jesus Christ, I feel like shit" was the first thought that came through my head when I woke up. I quickly began to notice I'm not quite myself. First thing, I do not remember myself being so small. It's like I shrunk a foot or so.

I got up from my bed and noticed that while my bed was familiar is was not my own. Nor was the bedroom. Wait. What? Why the hell am is there so much orange?

I notice a mirror near my drawer. My eyes widen.

Oh shit, I'm Naruto. That's anticlimactic.

Well, this is a weird dream. I don't usually tell when I am dreaming. But I'm not going to complain. Well, let's see how long this lasts.

All of a sudden memories of Naruto hit me all at once, Turns out, that it is the day after I wrecked Mizuki and learnt shadow clones. Wait. Why am I treating Naruto and myself as one and the same?

Ah, fuck it. Let's see how long this lasts. I searched through my drawers and found a pen and paper. I quickly begin writing out my plans that I should do here.

Step 1: Abuse the everloving shit out of Shadow Clones.

Step 2: Make money off of music from my own world.

Step 3: Become the creator of Star Wars.

Step 4: Make other popular movies and shit.

Step 5: Obtain a Harem.

I looked down at my list and nodded. This plan is perfect! I put my notepad into my pocket. I then mechanically went to brush my teeth. I then had a sudden realisation. Not that I was Naruto, that has already passed. But I was blonde.

"FOR FUCK SAKE I'M BLONDE!"

I can't believe this. I'm blonde. My beautiful black messy hair is gone. And it has been replaced with this shit? I let you know this now, I have made fun of a lot of blondes in my life, especially me ma. Now that I have blonde hair I have an urge to drown myself. Hopefully, I get used to it.

I run through my drawers and look at my orange jumpsuit in disgust. I am not wearing that. I tossed it into the trash and peered through my wardrobe. I come across a black shirt with red Uzumaki swirl and black pants. They are a bit short but it will. I left my apartment and began plotting.

* * *

Shadow Clones are a wonderful thing. I learnt this extremely quickly.

The first thing I began to do was study up in the Konoha libraries. There are 2 main libraries in Konoha. One is for Shinobi, the other is for the civilians. I have a lot of shadow clones study up on the stuff in there. I ain't gonna be no dobe. Nah, fuck that shit. I'm gonna appear semi-competent.

The next thing I do is make a couple of shadow clones and made a band. I called them, Wait for it...THE CLONES. Anyway, I got them writing music and shit from my own world.

Something you should hopefully not know about me until now is that I am a fan of music. I couldn't play much. Piano, Sax, Ocarina...Yes, I like Ocarina of Time. But hey! Shadow clones can make me learn new instruments so that's great.

The next thing on my list is Star Wars. Of course, I am making that a thing in this world. Nobody deserves NOT to know about Star Wars. So here's the internal plan: Remake all the scenes with me as Shadow Clones. I am going to need a set and stuff. Bugger. I going to have to put it on temporary hold until I learn how to do stuff like cinematography. I could start small. Invent the Rubix cube. Make that a thing first. Yeah, easy to make, market them for kids and ninjas alike.

I'm going to have to learn other practical skills like Art and dancing if I am going to attempt to get a Harem. But since this is in my head it has to go well.

Right.

Back to the present.

The civilians are surprised at my new appearance but still glare at me because they are jealous of my good lucks. I wink at the pretty ones. They originally don't know what to do but settle on glaring at me.

The first thing for actual me to do is find the mighty fine guy, Maito Gai.

I come across Team Ten by following the loud declarations of youth across the village. I find Rock Lee and Maito Gai sparring with boulders on their noses. It does not take long for them to notice me.

"YOSH! It seems someone has stumbled across while doing our sparring my youthful student! Tell me young shinobi, what brings you to this training ground?" Maito Gai says while giving his nice guy pose.

I blink for a second before I give a small smile before responding.

"I came here looking for you in particular, Gai-san," I say a bit sheepishly.

"And why is that my YOUTHFUL friend?!"

"Ah, you see, as most ninjas know, I am very much hated by the village. This also applies to some ninja that have thought me at the academy. My Taijutsu teacher has purposely trained me wrong in hoping of impeding my chances in becoming a shinobi. But, I eventually got this" I said as I tapped my forehead protector. And I don't want to appear a mess to my new Jonin-sensei" I say with a fake tear coming to my eye. So please train me Guy-san!" I begged with my knees bent and head on the floor.

Guy, on the other hand, did not know what to think of the current situation. He knew who the boy was. For as long as he has known of Naruto, is that he is a mischievous prankster that is begging for attention. This is very unlike the one he has heard of. However, that does not mean he would not give him a chance.

"Yosh! You're flames of youth shine brightly! You're drive to become a better shinobi has inspired me! And my YOUTHFUL student can now have an eternal rival! If I cannot match your flames of youth I will do 100 laps on my hands around Konoha! And If I cannot do that, I will scale the Hokage monument 1000 times with my teeth, If I cannot do that I will do 10,000 push-ups with my toes!"

"Yosh! How Youthful! I am glad to have gained an eternal rival! If I cannot match your flames of you.."

I tuned out the rest as I watched the sunset happen and everything. I waited patiently until it was done to come across both Neji and Tenten gaping at me. I blink in surprise before looking around slightly before pointing a finger to myself and mouthing "me?"

Neji immediately straightens himself up and tries to pretend to be perfectly stoic as all Hyuugas learn to do before they reach the age of -3 months old.

"How are you able to look through that and not want to bleach your eyes?" Tenten asks me, still semi-gaping.

"Could be worse."

Tenten now strives to be like me.

* * *

I spent the day vigorously training myself. I was able to get leg weights from Gai-sensei. So that is good. Gai was able to fix up my style considerably compared to how trashy it used to be. So all is good there.

It got late when I went to visit Old Man Hokage. I gave a two finger salute to the secretary who gave a small smile in return. I knocked on the door 3 times before entering. I noticed the secretary pulled out a kunai. I then realized that this is probably the first time Naruto has ever genuinely knocked on the door to the office.

"The Hokage is a pervert, I am just being polite by knocking."

that seemed to have got her attention before slowly lowering the kunai. I gave a small smile and entered the Hokage's office.

I came into the Office finding Sarutobi making small aeroplanes from the paper. Upon noticing he fumbles with the paper before greeting me with a smile.

"Ahh, Naruto, it is good to see you, what brings you here and what is with the change of clothes?" He asked as he sat back down at his desk.

"Hey, Jiji," I said with a warm smile before taking a seat across from him. "Do you mind if we have a private conversation?" I asked while looking up at the ANBU hiding on the roof. Sarutobi stared at Naruto for a moment before waving his ANBU away. He continued to stare at Naruto, noticing he has never seen Naruto so still in his life.

"What is it you would like to tell me Naruto-Kun?"

"I'm here to tell you a couple of things actually. I want to tell you some of the stuff I have been hiding from you." I said as a sat down in the chair opposite him.

"And what would that be?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Now this may come as a shock to you but I'm not as dumb as I make myself out to be. I purposefully held myself back in the academy to make sure the civilian council didn't get on my back. "To make sure the demon didn't get too strong" I said with quotes. "It was an act. All of it." I said firmly.

Sarutobi flinched at this before giving me a look.

"Oh, and can you prove this to me, Naruto?"

"Well first I invented my own language, I can speak and write in it and has no trace back to Japanese. I have also invented my own math equations. Would you like to see?" I asked as I took out my notebook.

"I would very much like to see this," he said as he looked down at me writing down in my notebook. The characters I used were unfamiliar to him and was shocked to see the consistency to my scribbles also that it wasn't as bad as the Japanese I am used to writing down.

"There is no consistency between the two languages and at the moment only I am able to translate between the two."

Sarutobi gaped at me before looking back down at the writing, then back to me.

"Naruto, when and how did you learn this?"

"Do you think I spent all my time sleeping at the academy?" I asked him, returning his disbelieving look mock exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry Naruto, I am just not used to seeing this side to you...Can you show me your math equations?"

I nodded and wrote down some basic algebra. The Professor looked at the equation with confusion and told him to find X. He had no idea how to do it until I showed him how. In my head, I was having a hard time bursting into laughter. Here's me, showing up a man known as "The Professor" with basic algebra! I was brought out of my internal musings when Sarutobi slumped in his chair in defeat.

"I believe this is one of your best pranks yet young Naruto, You have not only fooled me, but I believe the whole village." He said with a huff. "What else have you kept from me?" he asked as he straightens up in his chair.

"I have known about the Kyuubi being sealed inside me for about 7 years now. I came to this realisation due to my many monikers, such as "Demon, Kyuubi-brat, Demon-brat etc. Also that my birthday is on October 10th, when everyone is celebrating the Kyuubi's death. Where the villagers seem most like to hunt me down. Saying stuff along the lines of "Finish what the Yondaime started."

Sarutobi felt a strong pang of guilt at those words and slumped back into his chair. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you Naruto. The Yondaime wanted you to be seen as a hero and I also believed that the villagers would see you as one. I should not have made that public knowledge."

"You did half the job Jiji, but I'm not here to berate you, I also wanted to tell you I know who my parents are," I said as I nodded towards the picture of the Yondaime Hokage.

"How could you possibly know that! Nobody in the village except me should know who your father is!" Sarutobi said as he got to his feet. If news of Naruto's parentage got out towards Iwa, Konoha could be in serious trouble.

"You just confirmed my suspicions," I said as I started the massage my chin. "I suspected but needed confirmation, Thank you," I said with a small smile.

Sarutobi looked at me wide-eyed before banging his head against the table. Before mumbling into his desk. "Outsmarted by a genin, unbelievable." He then looked up from his desk at started to explain before I stopped with a hand raised.

"Look Jiji, I know you did it for my safety and all, I understand completely. In your position, I would have done the same thing. Probably would have kept the identity of the Jinchūriki secret though. You never know what spies could have found out about me and have me kidnapped to another village. Especially if I was younger and promised I wouldn't be hated in their village. Don't worry though, I don't plan on going rogue anytime soon."

"Naruto...I am sorry that I have lied by not telling you your heritage. I have failed not only you but your parents as well." God, he was getting too old for this shit. "Do you wish to know about your mother as well?" he said hoping to get on better terms with the boy.

"I know about ma, Kushina Uzumaki. Her names on the memorial stone. I couldn't find any records on her but what can ya do?" I said with a small chuckle. "I doubt I am going to meet them any time soon, I have no real feelings towards them. But hey, I'll live."

More guilt welled up in Sarutobi's heart. This is not how the boy should have grown up like. He expected maybe hate or anger towards his father but having no feeling at all for him just made it seem worse. Before a cloud of depression formed over his head, Naruto spoke again.

,"There is also one more thing I would like to tell you about."

"What can possibly be more important than learning about your parents?"

"I am glad you asked!" I said with a foxy grin coming to my face. "Tell me, would you like to make a trade?" I said as I leaned my elbow onto the desk.

"What kind of trade?" He asked with suspicion.

"I will tell you the secret to paperwork and in return I-"

"YES! YES! PLEASE TELL ME NARUTO! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SUFFER ANY LONGER" He said with hopeful tears coming to his eyes. It was honestly kind of sad.

Okay umm, first I want Sannin travelling rights, Second, a decent shinobi set and gear with a face mask, Third, a bingo book and Fourth, 7 days worth of Healthy Food baskets sent to my door every week for 3 months. With this, I also promise I will never betray Konoha as long as I am a shinobi of Konoha."

Sarutobi hesitated for a moment before giving a nod. "Only if your solution to paperwork works and the sannin travel rights will be given when you become chunin rank."

I thought about this for a moment before giving a nod myself. It is best I am decently trained before travelling anyway I think to myself.

"Agreed. Now, do you know everything a shadow clone can do?" I asked him pensively.

"They are solid clones for combat use. It costs as much chakra as an elemental Jutsu and when dispelled, you gain its knowledge..." At that sudden realization, his eyes widen before groaning to himself as he slammed his head into the desk. He quickly shot up, let out a hearty chuckle and made a dozen shadow clones before going into full-blown laughter. He quickly came over to me and gave me a strong hug where I was brought off the ground.

"Naruto, you have saved me from a world of pain, Thank you"

That went surprisingly Well.

* * *

I spent 2 weeks non stop training with Maito Gai. I brought up my weights to where I have been carrying 200kg on my legs. Also due to my clones learning fuinjutsu, I was able to create gravity seals. It was surprisingly easy to do once you get the basics on fuinjutsu. I have also changed. I have gotten 15 centimetres taller so I don't look like a squirt every time I look in the mirror. I think I have to thank Kurama for that. Gonna need to meet him soon. Need to study more fuinjutsu.

My attire has also changed. Instead of the 'kill me now' orange jumpsuit, I am now wearing the shinobi gear I got from Sarutobi. I have my mask up and have mastered Kakashi's eye smile. I'm going to troll them. I'm going to troll them all!

* * *

When I arrive at the academy, people stop and stare at me. Kiba nearly trips on Akamaru, Choji stops eating his chips, Shikamaru looks up and sighs a troublesome blonde, Hinata is doing everything to not looking at me and Sasuke looks at me only to stare at my handsomeness in befuddlement.

The first thing to do in my plot to fuck up the minds of our youth is to go over to Sasuke and bow apologetically.

"Uchiha-san, I wish to apologize for causing unnecessary conflict throughout the years, as now I am a shinobi I do not wish for bad blood between a potential teammate."

I stayed bowing until I get the good ol' "Hn." from him.

"Once again, my sincere apologies."

I then walked to the back of the room and took a seat next to Hinata, while everyone was still watching me closely.

"It is good to see you, Hinata-chan. I hope we can become good friends in the future." I said with my eye smile blasting full force.

"Ano-I hope so to-o Naruto-kun." Hinata says while she goes red face. The first thing that comes to mind is adorableness. SHE IS SO FRIGGIN ADORABLE. I just want to cuddle her dammit!

"Do you mind if you stay in that position for a second Hinata?" I ask politely as I take out my pencil and paper.

"Um-m Naruto-Kun?" she asks nervously, I continue to sketch her.

After a few moments, I have Hinata drawn on my sketchpad. I ripped the paper out and promptly handed it over to Hinata. Quickly the blood stopped going to her face and she fainted on the desk. I caught her before she could hit her head. and let her limp body rest on the desk in front of her. My day is ruined when I hear one of the most obnoxious brats screaming straight at me.

"Oi! Who do you think you are? Getting on to Hinata? And besides, you FAILED the exam! This is for genins only!" I hear Kiba saying while pointing at me. Akamaru yipped in agreement, also glaring at me.

I raised an eyebrow that was hidden by my forehead protector before eye smiling at him again.

"In order, Naruto Uzumaki, I was having a conversation with the nice lass, and I seem to have this forehead protector that tells you otherwise. This is a sign of being a shinobi of Konoha, therefore the logical conclusion there is that I have become a genin."

"Logic is good" I turn to my sides and see Shino agreeing with me. I also notice that Hinata seems to be waking up and getting back to her senses. At that moment I hear a disturbance at the door. The first thing that runs into my mind is Sakura.

I do not like Sakura. Especially in the first half of the series. She does FA until the fight with Sasori. but I do want to troll her. The first thing I do is henge into short orange jumpsuit Naruto. Because if she attempts to punch me in the head one more time I think I am going to lose my shit. "Time for a bit of pranking," I say to the class as I got up out my seat.

So here was the internal plan, walk up to Sakura, say good morning, have her punch me and I take her down. Boom that would be some shocking stuff.

But that did not happen.

Let me tell ya how it went:

Ino and Sakura came in. Ino came in and quickly sat beside Sasuke. There was no fighting, but I still had to pay my part.

I gave a hearty wave to Sakura, saying "good morning Sakura-chan!" She looked back at me and gave a grin of her own. "Good Morning Naruto!"

I froze. That was not supposed to happen.

"Naruto?"

"Yes?" I ask slightly warily

"Can I hug you?"

"Wh-what?" I asked in both shock and confusion. She gestured to me.

"You're adorable, I must hug cute things. Ino, I am hugging you next."

Ino laughed. "Ne, ne, Sakura, You must be in a good mood today."

"I'll be in a better mood if I get to hug somebody. So, what do you say Naruto?"

My mind went blank before going through all the possibilities that could be happening here. I then came to 2 conclusions. This must be another Naruto world where Sakura isn't a dick or this is someone who has been thrown into the loop much like myself.

I grinned internally, then externally.

Trolling is fun.

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**Reviews are love**


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